There are many many conversations that I have with the hubs or someone else close to me that should be recorded, because sometimes, the words just come out. So here are a few of those classics just for the record -
(Making tuna fish sandwiches)
N: (examining the package) Why do you think it's called 'light tuna'?
Me: Probably because it worked out while it was in the the ocean.
N: (shakes his head) Our children are so screwed.
(Driving to my parents house, along a windy road that overlooks most of West Knox)
Me: Ohhhh it's called Nubbin Ridge because we're ON A RIDGE! I get it.
N: Seriously? You just now figured that out?
(I've only lived here for 20 years..)
(discussing a dream I had)
Me: Al Pacino was my grandfather, but he only had one arm, and he was a con artist.
N: What?
Me: My dream last night
N: Your dream included Al Pacino?
Me: Yes... No...Wait... Anthony Hopkins. Which one was in Hannibal?
N: Hopkins
Me: Either way, he didn't REALLY have a fake arm. He was faking having a fake arm, with his real arm tucked in his shirt, so we all thought he was handicapped but he wasn't He was just waiting to switch out his arms so he could run a con!
N: I don't even know what to say to this. I'm walking away.
(Watching Sunday night football at my parents)
Dad - mentions something about how the Cowboys coach always cuts the sleeves off his shirts.
Me: I only know 3 NFL coaches.
Dad: Blank stare (as if to encourage me to continue?)
Me: The guy who cuts his sleeves off his hoodies, Omar Epps, & M. Night Shyamalan.
Dad: Continued blank stare.
N: confused stare
Mom: Continues knitting without noticing
Dad: (after a few seconds)....You mean, Bill Bellacheck, Mike Tomlin, and Mike Shananhan?
Me: Yup. Those 3.
(p.s. I had to google "coach who looks like Omar Epps" to get his real name and tell you this story)
You're welcome. That'll be $10.
No comments:
Post a Comment