It's been a while

Hello pretend universe/bloggersphere/whatever-the-hell-this-is-called. Hashtag-internet. 

It's been a day or two since you've been blessed with my unnaturally pale (for this time of year) face. Probably because I've been hanging out on my couch. You know, that one inside, in front of the brightly colored noise box.

If you've ever watched Gilmore Girls, right now, I'm Lorelei trying to write a character witness letter for Luke. My brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish. 

Munchkin is now 3 months old. And I'm 3 months into my lifetime of recluse-ville. Okay that's a lie. We do get out. Some. A little. Once. Proof - at friends wedding:

The truth is, we like being home. We like sitting on the couch on a Friday night, eating what could be considered both dinner AND breakfast (a favorite, dubbed Brinner, which always brings out the quotes from Scrubs), and in general being really boring. 

"It's kind of hard to beat brinner"

And, truth be told, we like to go to bed early. It makes getting up early a whole lot less painful. 

New parent truths:

- We wash a LOT of bottles. I'm pretty sure this little diddy never gets fun. Or ends. It's like laundry from hell.

- Tiny people laundry. There's a LOT of that too. And its hard as F@#$ to fold that shit.

- We alternate going to the store, because it's easier to make a list then to take a newborn to Kroger for toilet paper and more Tide.

- We've watched EVERY episode of TopGear. At least 10 times. I do mean that literally. I think we're keeping team Clarkson/May/Hammond in business. Thank you Captain Netflix.

- The dog is desperate for attention. And I'm usually too tired to give her much.

- COFFEEEEEEEEE is the liquid of the Gods. OR Energy drinks if you're my husband. Chances are you are not my husband. 

- Spit up. That shit gets everywhere. How do they do that? I go to work and I swear I can still smell it.

- WORK - The place you have to go to keep your sanity but the place you can't wait to leave to get back to your family. Vicious Cycle.

- Pandora lies about that 40 hr a month limit. Trust me. 

- Morning baby smiles are the best smiles in the world.

Really this is as far as my brain can go right now. New mom brain is a for real thing. I have it. I have it bad. And my kid just pooped her pants. Peace out cub scouts. Do the kids still say things like that? I'm bringing it back.