D-Day (Delivery)

**This post may be long. It was a long day. It may contain grossness. You've been warned.**

Well, the day had finally arrived. After much waiting (39 weeks and 3 days to be exact) and being tired of being pregnant, we were headed to the hospital at 4:30 in the flipping morning.  Yes, we were scheduled for the first c-section of the day - 7:30am and we had to be at the hospital by 5 for prep.

When we got there, a nurse informed me they had a few emergencies and if I could wait in the waiting area, they'd be out for me shortly. So I waddled into the waiting area, sat down, and then the Jerry Springer show began. 

While I won't give you the play by play, cause that would take ages, I will share some of the best quotes we overheard from the klassy (with a K on purpose) family that was also in the waiting room:

"I need another coke. How come a can of coke is a dolla?" (It's 5:15 am)

"Don't tell me to be nice to his parents. I ain't gotta do that." (his parents walk in..)

"Is your son still on drugs? He betta not be. He betta step up and get a JOB! I raised 3 kids. Maybe not the best raisin' but I didn't do no drugs!""

"She's 36 weeks (pregnant) and didn't know (it)." "Well maybe if she weren't so fat she'da (would have) noticed that she gained a few pounds."

And our personal favorite:

"I'd tell em how to get here but I can't read the exit signs." (Everyone nods) "True..."

Fortunately they called me back after this and we were able to leave the family drama behind us...

If you've ever had a c-section, you already know what I'm about to tell you, so you can skip this. Or you can find humor in my story. Your call.

I think a lot of people go into this thinking "it's just a c-section, it's not a big deal." This is major abdominal surgery people. This is not a choice you should make because you're scared of going into labor. In fact, if your doctor lets you do that, your doctor needs to be evaluated. In the head. 

There's not much weirder than walking yourself into an operating room that is prepped and waiting... FOR YOU. So you walk your naked ass (those gowns don't count, let's be real) over to the table and sit down while at least 10 people mill around doing who knows what (counting instruments, I remember that part). Then they begin the anesthesia, which is a spinal. This makes your whole flipping body numb from the bottom of your lungs down. You're awake, you can move your arms, but breathing feels like your running laps and the rest of your body has been dismembered. 

Then, about 10 minutes later, after some tugging and doctor-y stuff I couldn't see thanks to a giant blue curtain that smelled like crayons hanging in front of my face, I heard a little tiny cry....